Moleskins

My friend Adam has got to be one of the most indelibly cool people on the planet.  He let me drag him to buy groceries…this coming from a person who does not enjoy shopping whatsoever.  It was a rich experience and I had wondered about him, needed to have some hang time with a near and dear friend.  I hope all things in his life are rich and bountiful.  I can certainly say that happens to this girl on a regular basis, but only on account of my friends.  That’s what makes my life worth living….and some days that is the only one of two things…..always hold to your faith.

Wow.  Let me just say that.  I can tell Adam what is on my mind and even though it may sound extreme, a little off the rocker, he’s very accepting.  One of MANY good kindred spirits.

So, in conversation, we’ve both had some ups and downs in the past few months of our lives.  We talked about this a few weekends ago when we made a red-eye drive to Hot Springs.  THAT was fun!  My dramas are not dramatic, just intense and I love it that way.  Makes life intense and I’m all about the intensity factor.  If it ain’t making’ you sweat, it isn’t worth doing!

Adam says I need to journal a lot more, that if I really have a story to tell a blog will only go so far.  I need to write.  He’s right.  No punn intended.

Adam’s a smart dude, a great photographer and as passionate about some parts of life as I am about others, and more well versed on certain subject matter.  I’m all over the map. 

The pot called the kettle black.  I think we both have so much going on, going for us, that it’s a shame to let a single snippet of it slip past in this life.  Furthermore, this life in its own right is too fleeting.  Needs to be flintlocked and tarmaced, not that those are really relevant terms, but very gung-ho. 

I think our entire generation, in fact, is much the same way.  I feel that we all are so impactful, so full of wit and brevity and energy, we have so much to offer, why let it slip?

I guess this all goes back to my conversation with a favorite person a few days ago….about a lack of stability and seeming flightiness about the mental capacity to engage in one thing at a time.  I don’t think any of us are really ready to “settle” just quite yet.  There are a slew of us that have broken engagements, questioned God, fasnighted our commitments, delved into thinking about the future and how we can positively effect it more than anything. 

I also have this reckoning going on in my soul that says it is okay to feel that way, though it is not what society or Gen X prefers.  So, break the mold.  Keep digging!

Is pain a way to know you’ve dug too deep for one day?

I ask that as I sit with ice packs on my legs.  Today hurt, and for some sick reason, I enjoy that feeling, find it kind of satisfying.  Yeah, that’s sick.  Sigh.

I think that pain is an expression of the body’s need for cleansing, and honestly will be taking a day off, complete, a day of reflection.  That, for my, is hard to conceptualize.  I prefer the hustle and bustle of business all the time. 

Alfonso and I were having a short discourse on the wherewithall about religious fanatics on the way home this evening.  I rather enjoyed the conversation and the company.  We came to a unanimous decision that radicalism in any form is better left alone, that no one wants to be bombarded and brainwashed.  We talked about God and how He is so gracious to give us the choice to believe or not.  I know this portion of the post does not belong here, but it’s part of the shovel I’m using.

I think we as humans have the Free will, not destiny, to make or break it in this life.  Whether that is actually meaningful depends on your point of view.  I think it does matter, but only insofar as for the purpose of contributing to the human race, not for yourself, since we will all be expired some day. 

Oddly enough, I was having a skirted discussion like this with my mother last night.  I’m sure she must think I’m a nutcase.  In the past month, I’ve had a car totalled, jumped out of a plane, committed to running a 50 kilometer race, dumped an engagement.  Gee, how profound.  But I have several things in favor of stability:  church, political involvement, friends and darn good ones at that, music, a running group that is more like family than close family, teaching someone to swim and always being involved in trying to improve the state of the places I choose to enjoy.  I am always on time with bills and work hard to achieve what is necessary, often to go above that. 

So, in digging deeper, I think to unearth one thing at a time is safest.  Life is analogous to an onion…with many layers that have to be peeled away one sliver at a time.  In order to get one’s “ducks in a row” I think that digging is necessary.  If you want something, go for it, but expect that there will be road blocks, mental blocks, hesitation blocks, tired blocks, empty blocks, bountiful blocks, and accept them all for what they’re worth!

Hmmmm, not really digging, but it’s a start.

One breath at a time!

Impetuousness—Who is John Galt?

I just sat down and cracked open “Atlas Shrugged”…not my personal favorite, given my political bent, but it is indeed usefull literary material. It covers more objectivism and epistimology than anything.
Objectivism:
Epistimology:
The sixth chapter of Ayn Rand’s legendary work is “The Concerto of Deliverance”, which directly follows the previous chapter’s arduous question “Who is John Galt?” John Galt is a pivotal character in the book. John Galt happens to be the hero of the story, aside from his normal job as an engineer. Also my favorite character, and Taggart’s nemesis til the end, when Danny Taggart actually joins the man. It’s a strange tale of how an organized labor strike leads to true blue capitalism.
Some use the question “Who is John Galt?” as a way of balking at the state of affairs in the world today, how corrupt, immoral, serpid, tenacious and terse this planet has become.
I think it’s always been that way. But I also believe that there are those select few of [us] who have always had an altercation with that intrepid destiny….and we have every intention of changing it.
Going on to Dig Deeper at this…..one breath at a time.

Road Rage?

Okay, the bike story.  Not a big to-do, but kind of humorous.  I had woken up way later than planned Sunday and was going to hit the road earlier around noon.  Made it out about 4:00 after making banana bread and enchiladas.  Like I said, there was a lot of eating going on this weekend.  Anyhow, I got down to a little south-west of Nixa and could tell that the sky was growing dark quickly.  So I decided to try to shoot over to Ozark and wrap up forty miles.  Ha!  I made it to Campbell avenue, or what becomes Campbell.  It started to thunder and lightning and I’m sure that I looked like a fool.  Skinny white girl with not much on and a half bottle of water.  No money on me, just a phone.  So I thought “I can beat this stuff home”.  It got really windy and I was going uphill in a big way.  Then I got to the stoplight and Plainview Road and Campbell.  Got washed with road grime by a passing semi trailer.  NASTY!  Made it to the library, kept going.  I was close to Reliable Chevrolet and soaked.  Couldn’t see, just kept going.  I could swear lightning hit right beside me and cars were honking.  It was kind of humiliating, so I just turned up my MP3 player.  Made it to Battlefield Park apartments and I pulled in under an awning to wait it out.  Twenty minutes later, no joke, this older lady comes out of the apartment behind me and said “Honey, you really shouldn’t be out here”.  She stood there and talked to me for a while and as soon as the rain let up, I scooted home.

Drenched.  Grimy.  Cold.  I had this grin that must’ve been a mile wide.  I love the rain and that was kind of a sickly thrilling experience.  I’d do it again, maybe minus a little lightning.  Most of all, I love to run in the rain, but my left foot is suffering metatarsalgia, so I need to cut it down to fifty miles a week until the 50k.  Another reason why I love life. 

www.albom.com

I was lured by thinking of “For One More Day” after reading the book by Mitch Albom.   That man is as impactful, in modern context, as C.S. Lewis.  I further have to say that he makes me harken to think that life is indeed a short and sweet experience.  I suppose I want to live like that.  I think it would be wonderful to have Max Lucado, Mitch Albom, Zig Ziglar and John Maxwell over for lunch.  That is something I want to do before I die in a zillion years.  Hopefully they can pencil me in!

Albom’s inspiration is the people in his life.  Mine, too!  What a coincidence!  I like the concept of having one last word or one last day with the person that means the most to you, a long and drawn-out affair between the two of you and God.  Like a tall glass of water that you sip very slowly.  If I had one more day, I’d go back and befriend Ty, remember him?  It really wasn’t fair what happened, but I think if I could have one day, even with an eleven-year old kid, I would ask him what his purpose was in life and what made him have such huge faith. 

I ran against this kid at the Route 66 5k a month ago.  He was all of 14 years old, made me think of Ty and choke up a little bit.  He was so strong, but had a little inferiority going on.  I had careened up beside him on the turnaround, slow and old as I am becoming.  He was breathing heavily and his bowl haircut was matted to his cranium.  It was a funny sight because the kid was clearly in need of growing into his feet and into his arms and legs.  I was honored to push him.  I was blessed to offer a little advice and watch as he cruised up the last hill to a strong finish, a few seconds faster.  The grin on his face at recieving a trophy was marvelous and I knew then I had made an instant friend. 

But I think that’s God in the small things.  I think that kid was like a child of God, innocent but hungry to grab hold of something and embrace it.  I think God wants that kind of exuberance from us all.  Hmm, maybe I ought to tie this in to the DIGGING DEEPER chronicles.

I often think of another verse in relation:

“The Lord imparts to me the underlying strength of character that gives me the necessary energy and decision-making ability to live my life. He strengthens me ‘with power through his Spirit in my inner being.’ (Ephesians 3:16)

“A man broken by God, is an obedient man. Further, he is a vulnerable man, vulnerable to feeling the hurts, pains and grief’s of the people he must serve. God breaks a person, not to let goodness OUT, but to let goodness IN. Something enters him that flavors his whole being, tenderizes his heart, and makes him able to empathize with others.” – Glynn Evans

Hello world!

Welcome to my blog.  Expect Great things.  I’ve tried to blog before, but have had virtually no good fortune in selecting a template that I desired…til now!  So, welcome.  I hope that this blog becomes something you will read with a cup of something hot in one hand, something cold in the other.  I hope that it makes you smile, chuckle, snarffle, maybe say a little prayer or have to wipe away a hidden tear (of joy).  I hope that what you read can be classified as deeeelicious, since my unique love of life and expedious publishing manner can lead to him-haw typos and a few mistaken phrases.  I hope that you can comment freely and I hope that you gain a love of your First Amendment to the Constitution.  All I ask is that WE refrain from vulgar speak, newspeak, profane obscenities and/or juxtapositions of the English language.  Enjoy, please contribute, and share your own anecdotes as we journey together!