Could Not Ask for More

Today.  What can I say?  Always better than the day before!  Looking forward to what’s ahead.  I run the race with perseverance…HEBREWS 12

Today I ran nine miles with David, made six pies, ran another four (a little slower), made it to church.  BEST SERMON of MY LIFE!!!!!  More to come on that on the blog.  Made five more pies, hauled my bike in for a chain replacement….I hope they don’t try to sell me useless stuff!  Wrote a few letters, made my necessary lists for the week ahead, balanced my check book, paid bills, read the news, listened to Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck….that made my heart a little heavier but happier.  Went for a nice couple miles’ swim to loosen the legs.  Grabbed a few items at the store to finish making pies, a bottle of Marco Negri and headed over for dinner.  Kevin made a world class feast of authentic southern cajun seafood and we made crepes with this delectable coffee ice cream!  Watched Into The Wild, which, okay, is time to returnt to Blockbuster!  Ah.  Tried to catch the firewords at Firefall from the South Side, but not such a great view.  We had great discussion and he told me about a race with the word “Crescent” in the title in New Orleans…must do that, I just hope it’s not the same weekend as Boston!

We shall see.  My mind is live-wired with things to think about and I will not sleep much, but must in order to be productive.  Tomorrow, I think it will be necessary to bust fanny at work, but I have SO MUCH TO BLOG ABOUT over the course of the next five days, before the Psycho Psummer 50 K race in Kansas City.  Oh!  Reminds me that I saw Bob at the YMCA tonight.  That was a pleasant surprise.

Tomorrow, I will have to pick up the bike from the AB Hospital, check in at Hills and Drills, get my new books!!!! I love new books 🙂  I love my friends, too, can’t wait to see ’em another day.  They are so molding and shaping me in ways that are positive…I suppose because they are all positive people.  God has truly endowed blessings!  …I need to study the agenda and might go to the Springfield City Council meeting Monday night, too..those are well worth it!

Tuesday night is Young Conservatives, and Tuesday will be my last hard run in the morning before an official taper…even though I don’t believe in tapering and slacking off.  I also get a chance to catch up with Dr. Thompson and his lovely wife…they ordered a pie for the fundraiser, but I more or less am aching to talk to them…..this Dr. Richard Thompson that said I was a mensa once……I have to rebut that comment!

Wednesday, I suppose will mean slipping in to a roll of packaging pies for a bakery-like delivery for Thursday.  They are all almost finished!  I also have a long bike ride planned, church, and buying a copy of the New Yorker, Runner’s World, Triathlete magazines and National Geographic.  The New Yorker only because I heard there is a spread about the Supreme Court Justices and Bobby Jindall.  Man, if Obama gets elected….we might end up with the tragedy of more justices like the woeful cast of Ruth Bader Ginsburg…..NO-BAMA!!!!!

Thursday, Kevin and I made plans for another movie night and smallish fireworks…should promise a grand time and I will relish it, having less than 48 hours til the end of the hottest race in the Midwest, aside from the MW Meltdown!

I am ever looking forward to the week….and we might end it with a parade in Marshfield with the Republican Party marching with state reps.  I will intend to be there!  Hope Richard and Bob don’t mind 🙂  Breathe.  This is going to be a fabulous week, I have no doubt.  Just stay tuned to the blog, because this week there are going to be several posts regarding significant events in the Ozarks, politics, music, literature and the SERMON that was the most enlightening thing I have ever heard.  By the way, have you ever looked CLOSELY at the words to the National Anthem, God Bless America and the Battle Hymn of the Republic?  Try those on for size, maybe even an Emma Lazarus poem or two!

Til tomorrow,

 

DIG, my friends!

WEALTHY

Today.  A day straight from the hand of God!  Every waking moment was expedious and fruitful.  I woke to a deluge.  Was supposed to race the Chris Sifford 5k,  a short and sweet deal.  So, I poured oatmeal, nibbled some papaya, sliced a banana, flipped on the one channel I get that is close to the window for reception.  It reported sunny and 90 in Florida…mmmmmm.  Here?  68 and rainy.  Overcast.  A day meant for sleep, but I was restless.  Made four pies last night, biked about twenty miles and tried to catch up on some work, letters to family, birthday gifts…I know what Dad will get 🙂  Bills, had a few slices of cheese pizza. Vegged out and listened to Rhapsody downloaded tunes for the longest time.  Caught the ten ‘o’ clock news….fuzzy. 

Okay, that was yesterday.  I had a full agenda planned for today. 

So, I figured on the race being a no-go.  Called David and left a message, since we had signed up to run it together.  No answer.  Message complete.  Then, I checked the net for phone numbers and called at a quarter til eight….the race was still on!  If I left in a flash, it’d be possible to get to trafficway.  I made it,  late.  Got the race number, ran to the start line and the gun went off.  Smile smeared across my face.  I knew the entire front line of runners…….and was so happy to reconvene with every one of them!  The race was fast.  Two loops around Jordan Valley Park and a finish at Hammonds field.  I almost kept ahead of Rosie, but she did overtake on the last quarter mile.  It was uphill.  I has my best time ever at 20:00 even!  That was fast, and almost at my goal for the year of sub-twenty minutes.  Got to keep digging, and I bet on the course being shorter than 3.2 miles 🙂 

David and I met up and then ran into the Mizuno shoe rep–she was friendly and we exchanged emails and said we’d keep in touch.  She had raced the Psycho Wyco trail and said to be ready for hills from …..next Saturday!  Anyhow, I got in about 4 extra miles, figured on a very busy day.

Made it to a Leadership Institute today bu ten thirty and had a great time!  I learned a lot of practical information that will help me in helping others with their campaigns for office, the goals of the Young Conservatives (www.ksgf.com/forum) and that might inspire some other commitments and future plans….as well as fundraisers.    I sat at lunch with some unbelievably wonderful new faces and enjoyed their emphatic conversation.  Then, I chatted a great deal with like-minded Conservatives, which was refreshing and encouraging simultaneously. 

Made it home by about 4, hopped on my bike and took off for 13 miles…..had about an hour before meeting David to go to the ballgame, and had a flat tire issue about a mile from home.  Bummer!  I took off my shoes and walked barefoot, singing to my ipod the whole way.  It was delightful, not too hot and quite relaxing…till my carcass busted the sidewalk through a muddy stretch on the trail! 

Sang “Come on” by Matt Nathanson six hundred times!  And then some Jewel and Norah Jones.  I love that feeling…like walking on water!

Got ball-game ready and ran to David’s then we met Kirk and Lewis at the ball park.  We snagged seats and hit it off with good chit chat.  Met some new faces, sat down and got back in the fourth inning to play musical chairs with some people from Conway on the field…a fun distraction.  Good photo ops were had by all!

After the game, we all walked back to Dillon’s, which reminds me that I did finally mail the package to Blake with triathlon help info, to Brian a letter to Kyrgyzstan, and my phone bill.  Now I have to get my dad that CD that David was talking about …..can’t say it to remind on here in case Dad should read it.

I thought it would be fun for my parents to come for the Concreteman Triathlon in July and then let me take them to Clary’s and a nice show at the Gilloiz for their anniversary…28 years, I think…August 1.  I hope it works! 

I made it home to make some pies…5 tonight and some fresh salsa and am typing this. 

Tomorrow, we are running South Creek early, going to our own churches and I am hauling the bike in for a tune-up or repairs….new chain, tire change, going to change the oil in my car and make more pies…..then run again or swim..would prefer to run trails, mail out fundraiser letters, fold and iron laundry, meeting a friend for supper, Into the Wild (again!) and FIREFALL since it was postponed due to rain.

I guess Monday will mean hitting it hard again so that next weekend I can really PLAY!!!!

 

God is SO good…..I can’t wait for the sun to come up!

 

BTW, the Cards won here 5-1 against the Frisco Rough Riders, the STL Cards also won over KC!  And KU had five drafted to the NBA today.  Now, countdown to the Olympics and ….NFL!!!!!!!!!

Making the connection

I feel dreadful for not calling home more often.  It always seems that by the time the day is over, it would be inconvenient for my family to talk on the phone…despite the one-hour time difference, central to mountain.  Sometimes, it is good to clear the mind, a short walk or a time of silence, is seemingly so soothing….but not nearly so much as connecting with the ones I love. 

My grandma called earlier this afternoon while I was at work; I returned the call:

One phrase from the dramatic end to “Into the Wild”:  ‘HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED’

I love talking to my family, always wishing they were closer, always seeking for frienships to fill that and for meaningful ways to occupy that place in my heart when it’s hard to hug them or hear them speak.  But tonight I realized that despite how my grandparents are aging, they are so very in touch with their children and grandchildren.  They genuinely care and worry constantly, and though verbally it is not the most evident, they are always sipportive in every possible way.  I adore their strength and will power, their faith and virtues.  I mostly just love them. 

When I was a younger girl, a freshman in High School, strong and emphatic, I remember one summer spent with my grandma remodeling the home that she and my grandpa live in now.  It was the original home they built before moving to the farm.  That summer was magical in so many ways, and I can never erase a moment of it from my mind. 

I mowed the yard all summer, along with others ( great work for a High-schooler), but put so much sweat into that house.  Ripping up tile and carpet, stripping paint, removing moulding and baseboard, cleaning grit and lime from plumbing, hammers, nails, scouring brushes, steeped in elbow grease and dripping with joy….a reason I love hard work…it is so gratifying.

We laughed and told story after story.  I saw photos of all our family tree, learned the entirety of the family history and indulged in plenty of cherry limeades and grandma’s homemade cookies and pie.  I love that woman, well, both grandmothers!  They are such mature and loving women..but the memories of that summer linger like honeysuckle…proof that Life is Beautiful….even in Kansas.

 

More to come on this story later.

Uneconomical Writer’s Block

For whatever reason, there is a mental block on what to write….I need to fill the blanks somehow but am uncertain.  There are two posts I have already started, but may postpone for elaboration of a special type….research is necessary.  I got a massage, felt heavenly…went twenty miles on the bike and rented “Into the Wild” and may just watch it ten times…I do love Jack Krakauer reading!  Also figured out some new ideas for triathlon training….I’m no longer content at the amateur level and it is time to step it up ten notches….I have some serious work cut out for the next month and a strong desire to perform at a level TEN, so sleep will become a necessity tonight.  Such is the case, but today was blessedly full of all the goodness a day in anyone’s life should be…..and there is so much in the news I want to blog about, but am seeking ONLY the positive……perhaps a phone call home is warranted….a date for tomorrow night; I need to bake Friendship bread anyhow 🙂  Also, check back regularly…some friends of mine (newly acquired) are having a baby tomorrow and they are going to be some remarkable parents, I have a hunch!

Peace

My friend Brian is off to the Peace Corps in less than two weeks.  Well, maybe a little over, but he will spend a few days in Indiana with family beforehand.   I think the world of him.  We met when I wrote on the News-Leader Editorial Advisory Board a couple years ago, decided that it would be fun to run together.  I found out he’s a great slam poet.  I found out he’s way more in touch with the world.  I found out he’s got a good appetite. I found out that he loves to read and that we consequently had a lot in common.  I found his respect for secrecy in politics appealing, wishing I could be so discreet.

I discovered that Brian has a Big Love (that he also knows Spanish and calls himself OCHO BIG LOVE).  That rocks!  Brian introduced me to hill running at Buseik and we both trained for the first go at the St. Jude Memphis Marathon together.  We had a fun time finding out that polyester shorts don’t adhere to the body when beneath them is a pair of USA-logo swimming briefs.  We crack up still over that one. 

Brian is amazing, and I wish I had more time for him, like I wish I had more time for all these people I adore.  In retirement?  Nah, I think they’ll be hanging around in eternity!  Brian counts on my faith and I am going to pray for him every day while he is in Kyrgikstan (SP?) and send him a letter a month to keep his spirits high.  Brian is brave, brian is strong, and I have faith that he knows what he is doing….just wish things had worked for him to live around Springfield. 

Ah, what am I thinking?  He’ll be back!  I’m guarding one of his possessions with my life….one that cannot go to a garage sale, so he has to come back to retrieve it.  Now, the only problem:  do you think they’d let Candy House chocolates cross through customs over that many miles?  Perhaps I can conn Askinosie into a Kyrgik shipment 🙂

 

Dig it, Brian, Dig it and please keep your faith, your smile and know that we’ll keep a place at the table when you get back…you know our group…any excuse to celebrate!

Biking and Humility

I had the great honor of riding road bikes after work today with three world-class cyclists.  It was a run for my money and everything I thought it would be…with the exception of one gravel bridge that caught me off guard and had the skin ripped off my incisors!

These guys are built like brick houses, strong and lean and fully capable of any physical challenge.  I am merely human, with no superhuman qualities, just overly large dreams, mile-high aspirations and a burning desire to find out how far, fast, high, strong and long I can extend my physical….not quite understanding enough of the metaphysical….not yet.

We rode fifty miles. It started out nice and easy, but twenty-five miles into it, was wishing I had gotten a professional massage, not run the day after Fayetteville, and that I had slept in this morning instead of the Yasso repeats at the track!  They were allowed to drag me through the mud, though it was forunate there hadn’t been any rain yet today. 

Needless to say, I was impressed.  What can a twenty-something with a used bike, old chain, loose cleats, an uncharted depth of soul, and only enough rugged adventurism for one do?  I had nothing on them, and felt like they were so kind and so forgiving.  I feel the same way running with David.  Those people are so much better.  I love being in their presence.  It is a reminder that yes, this too, is possible…..just PRACTICE, BELIEVE, VISUALIZE, TRAIN, PRAY, HAVE A HEART and EAT WHEATIES!

I also think I really made one of the guys just about crack up.  He asked what I anticipated in the Psycho Wyco 50 K run in about ten days.  Really?  I haven’t dwelt on it much.  I know it is going to happen, and I know that it will be a challenge, but I am also looking forward to the workout, the time with two really interesting and dear fellow runners, the fireworks show in KC, ice cream on the Plaza, and a road trip for the sake of a road trip.  I’m psyched!  So, how much heart to have….aye, that’s the rub.  I told the guy four and a half hours.  What the heck?  I can do a marathon in 3:30 or thereabout.  Haven’t done 30 miles, but I have a really strong base and train and crosstrain over 30 hours every week.  It’s exhausting, but there’s also an article in Triathlete magazine I will cite if I can remember it tomorrow. 

Well, he laughed, said I might need to consider a few things.  Okay.  Six hours.  Six hours and a humongous steak dinner!  And a massage and back at it for the Price Cutter 10K the next week, Pancake feed fundraiser, and Jim Evans’ birthday party.  The Lake Freebird Triathlon is the next day, but my poor cycle needs love and a new chain.  Sigh.  May just stick it out and train harder to WIN the women’s concreteman…long course?  It is POSSIBLE….why not dream? 

Of course, these lessons in humility, agh!  Nice little lessons.  I think the victory can belong to Rosie again this year.  It’d just be nice to stick close to her and maybe keep up with Todd Mallow.  Wow.  In all humility, this area is chock full of amazing and hearty athletes…..it might be wise to stick around a couple decades…but the Olympics are still in reach if one is young and well-prepared.  Julie Ertel (Tri Fem Hero) is one I will strive to race against. 

Back to the drawing board.  This is going to take a stomach of steel, a lot of time, some more sacrifice, a little money and a whole lot of humility…..got to be crushed before you can walk on your own!  I think this is the whole heart and soul of the actual event that I love…the training, the brokenness, the dependence, the growth and the continuous improvement through perseverance.  KAIZEN.

 

Digging deeper, maybe in Hebrews 12

Faith and Desire-Drowning in Love

I had a conversation today, can’t even recall…oh wait!  This morning.  Our 5a.m. track group went out for a few medium-speed half mile repeats.  I was glad to go, as always.  Like I’ve said, those people are family.  Every single one I would take a bullet for.  Well, that’s pretty much the way I feel about everyone around here.  Anyhow, we had this conversation that drifted to music….I had Bebo Norman’s “Be My Covering” on the mini player and expressed vehemently that I am simply enamored with that song.  It epitomizes everything that I feel about life, love and God.

It made me recall this time in my past.  My Mom, whom I would now readily consider a kindred spirit, took me to Salina to see Amy Grant.  This was during the era of “El Shaddai”  and she’s the woman who infected me with a love and passion for music.  She taught me piano, loved to hear me sing, and was excited the day I learned to trill notes on the clarinet.  I wish she’d have taught me more, but I was so obstinate…hindsight is 20/20! 

That concert was the experience of a lifetime, and only a few years after Wheat State church camp, where I experienced what is decsribed in Pentecostal religious doctrine as salvation.  My Mom, my best friend.  It only seems fitting that it would come full circle, so I want to pass that on…some day. 

I just remember the concert….getting back on track.  I remember how cool my Mom was at that point in time…and this was before I had given thought to a driver’s license or to much of anything about womanhood or heartache.  She was on top of the world.

Mom and I had plenty of good times like that and we use to spend Sunday afternoons watching Anne of Green Gables or Nova while she ironed and I sewed 4-H projects.  We’d split a Hershey bar and a Mr. Pibb and not say a word. just hang out.  I would give anything to have some of that time now.  Although, I think sometimes it is disappointing to my mother what I’ve done with life.  I got a college degree and she doesn’t see that I viably use it (although I keep up on certification and still do research), and she doesn’t hear my guitar or piano, has no idea that I sing for hours when biking around Missouri.  She doesn’t know how fulfilling it is for me to be able to physically take on the challenges I never would have otherwise.  I want so badly to share with her things that have changed.  I want to tell her that it’s okay in my heart to no longer be marrying the man we all thought I would.  I want to let her know that anorexia was the single most dreadful experience and how sorry I am for letting it encroach on our family.  I would give anything to take it back.  But I also want her to know that the last two years I spent at home, trying to hide so many things, I knew she knew.  I want to let her know that I think we are all more emotionally and mentally capable that we’d have otherwise been and how precious my family is…..even though it’s rare we can affectionately venerate those feelings. 

It is her faith that was my Great Grandma Vi’s faith (oh the stories I have about that woman!) that has become my faith and is going to forever be a work in progress…at least til eternity.  It is her desire, it is God’s desire, it is the desire of my heart to leave this world not just with a legacy, but with positive change and impact on someone else’s life by testing the limits of human capacity and finding the edge, the apex, the pinnacle of whatever is our sole purpose in life (By the way….did you hear they are closing Everest for a time to hikers?–so much for that being my top of the bucket list!) It is also my mother’s unwavering temperance that I hope to acquire….since you aparently become your parents or a carbon-like remnant of them…I think she is the strongest, most intelligent, most stable, most God-fearing, most punctual, most responsible and most loving and genuinely compassionate person I have ever known.  Hey, she brought me into this world…….

Mom, I will continue to DIG DEEPER….til I can figure out what it is that drives you and sets your heart on the right path every day.

Valuing Others, Individuality and that one verse in Hebrews…

Hebrews 12:1-6 says “Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood and you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:’Do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”

verse 7 goes on to say “Endure hardship with discipline”

That’s what I write on my race bib, my arm or leg, somewhere on my body before every race and I’d like to get the whole thing tattooed across my back.  It just sounds painful.  I think God had Kaizen all lined out before any of us ever got there.

I also think that what originated with God is not always seen as such, and as long as those who aren’t subscribers to my same faith understand the principle, I think that’s wonderful.  Alfonso and I talk about this sometimes on the way home.  About how organized religion can sometimes be distracting.  I honestly find running to be the most spiritual and meditative thing I do with God and I do it regularly.  It makes me have those reflective and introspective moments where the heart is revleaed and the soul becomes a little more deeply embedded in ‘heartiness’.  I suppose that might also be why I crave adventure….because that’s where I have those experiences with God.

Bebo Norman had a song on the radio this morning that made me think about this all day long.  It is called “Be My Covering”  I love the song primarily because it’s upbeat, full of spirit and encouraging.  That’s what I try to exemplify at races.   And hopefully, that is what comes across as such.  When the hills get steeper, when the sun beats a little more fiercely, you can count on faith and disciplined training to get through.

Much like life, but who am I to talk about walking through life?   At twenty-three, seriously!  Well, I think I’ve experienced some of those trials in an intense way.  Those times when your head sags and you neck is nearly broken under pressure from holding your head so low.  That still small voice, be it your conscience or God speaking, that one that causes you to raise your eyebrows, peer through beads of sweat and inhale like it’s your last.  That cool breeze, the gentle soothing touch that lets you know it will be alright.  Those are the moments, when you’re steeped in fear and anguish and feel like nothing is possible, like there’s no way out.  Then, somewhere deep within you, there’s a second wind, and you crawl a little ways, irk upright, stand a little taller, suck it in and give life all you’ve got.  It is the single most painful, glorious, unbelievable, surreal feeling, but by Grace and through Faith. 

I suppose it is also for this reason that I love some sort of sport or intensity.  The other people involved are typically experiencing something VERY similary and you can stand on that one solid and common ground, knowing nothing else about [them].  It’s indescribable.  I value their encouragement, strength and perseverance most of all, even more than their competition and smiles.

There’s also a joy in knowing that we are all made uniquely and perfected by someone we cannot understand.  I think that is a beautiful mystery 🙂  (Also why I am very anti-abortion and very pro-life)  It’s amazing that we were created with a human capacity and strength we will never be able to comprehend or access other than supernaturally…someday.  Til then, I’ll keep enjoying the challenges, the trials that make us all grow, the experience for its own sake, the love, the pain, the laughter and tears….all leading up to the need to KEEP DIGGING DEEPER.

Springfield is Open for Business and I want a piece of the pie!

I have to honestly say that, even having only lived in three places in my life, having traveled the U.S. quite well (still have the 50 states to run marathons in!) that Springfield is one of the greatest cities I’ve come to know and love.  I love the people, the activities, the outdoors, the music, the people, the night life, the churches, the people, the view, the summers, the rain storms (deluges), the food, the people, the opportunity and the atmosphere.  I feel at home, perfectly safe, like a native, one who belongs.  I’ve been given so much by way of general concern, opportunity, acquaintances, friendships and depth of perspective that I really could be happy here for much longer.  Sure, it’d be nice to move to Denver and train at higher elevation, but this is a great place to be young and single.  It’s affordable and I have not once felt unsafe or neglected.  I don’t even have THAT many run-ins with drivers who hate cyclists and runners:)  Okay, the occasional few. 

It’s exciting to be here now, even in the midst of an economic downturn, because I’ve seen people here pull together and make out alright by virtue of their stick-to-it-iveness.  I got lost here once and found the way home. 

True story.  First day in Springfield was December 27th, 2006.  I decided that taking the bus would be a great intro to the city, it’s sights and such.  Not the hottest idea ever and I’ve stuck to riding a bike or driving since that day, but that’s the brevity with which I approach life here, starting at Day One.  I’ve not been inhibited by caution here and feel that anything is possible.  That first day, I met some of the most poverty-stricken people I’ve met…not all bad off because they could afford the bus.  I also met some drifters, some single mothers, some intellectuals discussing Tolstoy.  Loved it.  I’m in love…..well, at least in an earthly sense, with where life is heading.  It’s exhausting but SO VERY fulfilling.  I have so much to give and love giving…time, energy, blood, sweat, tears.  I learned how to laugh and cry again..in Springfield.  I thought I was in love….in Springfield.  Reclaimed life, relearned social skills, navigated the streets in the early mornings.  I have a feeling the journey is just beginning.  It’s the best home base and I think this could be justified as one of those moments that you just know it’s in God’s will to be here.  I’ve felt that way since December 26th…..when my family and I rolled into town.

 

Signs of the Times

America is aging slowly…evident when there are no longer the Greats:  Russert, Carlin, Carson, Hope, Newman, Regan…..what can I say?  It never ceases to amaze me, though, how in a time of cataclysmic events we are still so caught up in the entertainment news.  hmmm. 

I used to get into this show called “Coast to Coast A.M.” hosted by Art Bell, now just by George Noory.  They had some far-out items like Bigfoot, UFOs and Out of Body Experiences, but the best was their episodic preview of prophecy.  They’d have Sean David Morton and guys that resemble Edgar Cayce on.  Always worth considering in thought.  That was really random and maybe some day I’ll elaborate on where I was going with that tangent……….just let me get through a stack of papers on prophecy and destiny 🙂